Revising for Voice: Abe Lincoln

Thank you to Jim Heynen who called attention to this in his essay, "Becoming Your Own Best Critic." Heynen's essay is in the latest issue of Brevity. See it here: http://www.creativenonfiction.org/brevity/craft/craft_heynen1_10.htm

Here are two versions of the last paragraph of Abraham Lincoln’s second inaugural address. The first was written by Secretary of State William Seward; the second is Lincoln’s revision.

Seward’s draft:

I close. We are not, we must not be, aliens or enemies, but fellow-countrymen and brethren. Although passion has strained our bonds of affection too hardly, they must not, I am sure they will not, be broken. The mystic chords which, proceeding from so many battle-fields and so many patriot graves, pass through all the hearts and all the hearths in this broad continent of ours, will yet again harmonize in their ancient music when breathed upon by the guardian angels of the nation. (84 words)

Lincoln’s revision:

I am loath to close. We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory, stretching from every battle-field and patriot grave to every living heart and hearthstone all over this broad land, will yet swell the chorus of the Union, when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature. (75 words)

The two versions also appear in Doris Kearns Goodwin’s book TEAM OF RIVALS and again in the January 2009 issue of The New Yorker.

Let's talk about the difference between the two versions. Let's talk depth, effect, voice.

A Quote to Quote (and Discuss)

William Stafford said: "The poem is best that's most congruent with who you are."

What does this say about voice and truth in creative nonfiction?


p.s. William Stafford also said: "You must revise your life." Read his poems. They'll change everything. And read his amazing collection of essays on writing -- WRITING THE AUSTRALIAN CRAWL.

Feeling Bloggy?

For this weekend, please finish reading Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life and finish your own encyclopedic entries.

Then: put your entries on a blog. This will be fun. I promise. You can use any blogging platform (Blogger/www.blogspot.com is one that's easy and free). Once you've set up your blog, link to our class blog. Then post your blog site's address in the comments section below.

I'll post links to all of your blogs on our class blogroll. (All this blog talk makes my brain bloggy. How are yours?) We'll use the blogs in class for workshop. That's right. No paper this time around.

In class on Tuesday, we'll also be talking about revising for voice and intimate point of view (per Truth of the Matter, Ch. 5). We'll use Amy Krouse Rosenthal as an example of a writer with a distinctive voice and intimate style. We'll also talk about how blogging can help you develop voice and a sense of what it means to write to be read.

p.s. If you haven't done so already, check out AKR's own website/blog at www.whoisamy.com.

NPR Interview: Amy Krouse Rosenthal and the Art of the Alphabetical Memoir

Here's an interview NPR did with Amy Krouse Rosenthal shortly after the publication of EOAOL. http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4560580

Excerpt from Powell's Essay/Interview with Amy Krouse Rosenthal

Here's an excerpt to think about when we're thinking about voice -- what it is, why it's important, how it works to bring the writer and the reader closer.

Powells.Com From the Author Amy Krouse Rosenthal

"People ask me how I arrived at the idea of presenting a (my) life in encyclopedia form. Can I first say that until very recently I didn't think it was that outrageously odd of an idea. Yes, I understood that the structure was not conventional, I got that — but this format made such perfect sense to me (on many levels) that it was more like of course this is how my book will operate versus boy, I'm really doing something zany here with the structure. That said, this question has been posed to me enough times now that it is clear that people are either a) indeed curious about how I came to this encyclopedia solution, or b) it's simply the least wobbly plank from which to launch a dialogue.

That concludes the preface answer to the real answer. Here's my real answer: I don't think that question needs to be answered anymore, or at least not anymore today. I have answered it head-on for a few weeks, answered it like an earnest school girl who's been called upon, and here's the outcome: it's starting to make me feel sleazy. Why is that? Why do I feel like I'm giving a bit of myself away every time I answer that question directly? I don't know. Maybe you know. Maybe you've been here before. But I haven't. When do they serve lunch?

I think that if I continue talking about the book this way, explaining it, dissecting it, doing all this fancy circus-performer back-tracking about the process — it's potentially damaging. You explain something away enough and you're left with a dehydrated mass. I'm picturing a rotten, pale, sunken-in orange. There isn't a lot of juice or magic in a rotten orange.

Not to mention: It's no secret that I speak to this question at great length (i.e., excruciating detail) in the "Evolution of this Moment" section of the book.

Not to mention: What if I'm remembering the creative process all wrong? What if I'm romanticizing it? What if I am changing the story ever so slightly each time I tell it, in an effort to improve it, polish it, keep it fresh and unboring to me?

Not to mention: Who cares.

Let's talk about something else."

Read the full piece here: http://www.powells.com/fromtheauthor/rosenthal.html

Updated Assignments: February 18

First, here's a flamingo. Summer-y, right? It's out there, summer -- somewhere under all this mess.

Now: assignment-wise, we'll try to cover as much as possible on Thursday (no more snow!). Here's the plan:

* We'll finish workshopping your first pieces.
* I'll cover concepts from Chapters 4&5 in Truth of the Matter
* We'll review your Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life assignments (you'll finish these for Tuesday, Feb. 23)

Keep reading Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life if you haven't finished it and review chapters 1-5 in Truth of the Matter. We'll have a quiz on concepts we've covered so far this term next Thursday, Feb. 25.

On Tuesday, Feb. 23, I'll review some of these concepts in class and we'll talk about Encyclopedia. You'll turn in one copy of your encyclopedia entries to me. I'll make a packet of them and distribute to everyone on Thursday for workshop.

Writing Awards Deadline Extended to Thursday, Feb. 18

If you'd like to enter work in the 2010 Writing Awards Competition, you have until Thursday, Feb. 18 at 5 p.m. to submit. See full guidelines on the earlier post. (Remember -- you have to play to win. Prizes are $100 + fame. And, in the event of blizzard, $100 will buy a lot of milk and toilet paper.)

UPG Writing Awards: Deadline is Valentine's Day

Love words more than overpriced roses? Could use $100 to cover that Valentine's Day dinner? Don't forget to enter UPG's 2009-10 Writing Awards competition. UPG Writing majors can enter in one category -- creative nonfiction, fiction, poetry, or journalism. Here are the quick guidelines:

* Enter 3-5 poems OR 1-2 pieces of creative nonfiction, fiction or journalism. Be sure your name does not appear on your entries.
* Include a cover sheet with your name, full contact information, and the titles of your entries.
* Submit your entry to either Prof. Vollmer or Prof. Jakiela. You can also drop you entry at Prof. Jakiela's office (208 Powers Hall).
* Deadline is 5 p.m. Valentine's Day, Feb. 14 2010.

Entries will be judged anonymously. Awards will be given in all four categories. Prize is $100. For more information, see Prof. Jakiela, e-mail lljakiela@gmail.com, or call 724-836-7481.

Roses. Who needs 'em?

Over-the-Weekend Fun (a.k.a. Assignments)

Work on your Encyclopedia entries. (Remember your letter of the day/week!)

Begin reading: Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life

We'll finish workshop on Tuesday, then move to a discussion of Chapters 4 & 5 in Truth of the Matter. You'll work on your Encyclopedia entries all week. We'll start discussing these on Thursday.

More Six-Word Memoirs

Here are some more examples from the book, Not Quite What I Was Planning (the first collection of six-word memoirs):

After Harvard, had baby with crackhead.
- Robin Templeton

70 years, few tears, hairy ears.
- Bill Querengesser

Watching quietly from every door frame.
- Nicole Resseguie

Catholic school backfired. Sin is in!
- Nikki Beland

Savior complex makes for many disappointments.
- Alanna Schubach

Nobody cared, then they did. Why?
- Chuck Klosterman

Some cross-eyed kid, forgotten then found.
- Diana Welch

She said she was negative. Damn.
- Ryan McRae

Post-Em: Your Six Word Memoirs Here

Here's an invite: in the comments section, post your six-word memoir for a chance to win chocolate. That's right. Chocolate.

To get you started, here's mine: Liked to move the words around.

Now -- your turn.

Assignments: Week 4

Tuesday, Feb. 2: Discussion of NPR Science Story on Time/Novel Experiences Workshop/Firsts Prompts

Thursday, Feb. 4: Workshop Firsts Prompts

Assignment: In your prompts binder, come up with a list of your own essential firsts -- the novel experiences you've had that are vividly recorded in your memory. Make the list as long and as detailed as you can.

Why First Memories Are Strongest (And Why Time Flies When You Get Old)

NPR has a terrific story up about the way people perceive time -- and about the way our brains process "firsts" (those wonderful moments that make for the best memoir prompts). Check it out here: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=122322542